Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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