it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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