You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
