Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
