so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i already hear my dad disowning me
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
