Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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