My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
