we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
