thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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