Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just want nice things and good sex
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
