No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
