every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
