Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
