Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
