i think my tv is drunk
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
