About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Randomize
