I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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