ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
