i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
