Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
