it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
