on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
