doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
