just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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