i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
