hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
