Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
