I bet he comes in French.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Randomize
