I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
