Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
