she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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