And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Randomize
