some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
we're making bets on your personal life
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
