jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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