Pappa wants mamma naked
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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