Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
