Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
