so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Sext me about skeletons
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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