I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
