You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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