Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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