y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
