My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
