I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
