dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
