I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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