i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
