that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
