and she was petting her beer can
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
