he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She told me I should be a condom model.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
