That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
