the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
