I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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