If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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