I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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